Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Ode to my Pa - AKA Sugar Lips

This was on the Pioneer Woman site today. You'll never guess who it made me think of.
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There was a man known ’bout town—a man named Sugar Lips.

See, Sugar Lips came to be known as Sugar Lips because, well…he had a way with words. So when Mrs. Brown’s beloved husband, Mr. Brown, was killed on the railroad tracks one day, the local authorities called on none other than Sugar Lips to break the sad news to Mrs. Brown because, well…he had a way with words. Happy to oblige, Sugar Lips walked up to Mrs. Brown’s house, knocked on her door, and waited. When Mrs. Brown answered, Sugar Lips asked, "Is you the Widow Brown?" Puzzled, Mrs. Brown responded, "Well, I’m MRS. Brown, but I’m not a WIDOW."

Sugar Lips replied, "The f**k you aint!"

Happy Wednesday, y'all!

PS - This picture always makes me think of him as a little turd...you know he wrecked his first truck when he was 3!!! :)

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Holiday Rundown

The holidays were wonderful here in the Eggert household. Here's the Cliff's Notes version.

1. Christmas Eve with Grandma Nancy and GG Helen. Inhale dinner because presents are directly following dinner. Don't even rememberto serve the tropical pie I made from scratch because of the present hysteria.
2. Go home and set out cookies for Santa, carrots for the reindeer. Try to sleep.
3. Wake up, see what Santa brought (E-ipod, T-Nintendo DS). Open presents. Have traditional breakfast casserole. Mommy got jewlery from Ben Bridge. Daddy got a new gun.
4. Frantically put all new toys, clothes, everything else we own into big red car. Don't clean up or put gift wrap into recycling bin. Leave strewn wildly on floor.
5. Hightail it to Grandma Red and Papa Big Truck's house. Open NEW COMPUTER from Grandma and Papa, watch Uncle Andy get custom made McMaster's Guitar. Freaking amazing.
6. Stay the night. Veg. Play games with family under careful auspices of the game Nazi. Eat. Sleep tiny.
7. Arise at 3:00 am. Drive 18 hours to Colorado. Horrible roads. Witness six accidents in Idaho. Stop in Mountain Home and have breakfast with Larry McMasters, Amy and Monique. Witness absolute blizzard, wonder if freeway to Burley would stay open long enough for us to get out of Idaho. Witness amazing children playing harmoniously in the back seat. Not kidding. They were amazing.
8. Pray hard in Utah, near Green River, hope that car doesn't keep acting strange. Look at thermometer, see reading at -8. Pray some more. Arrive in Grand Junction, CO at 10 pm. Consider drinking Drano. Reconsider.
9. Shop Kohl's and other favorite stores for after Christmas sales. Have lunch at our favorite brewery, the Rockslide. Go to Enstrom's where they make the world's finest Almond Toffee. Go to the amazing dinosaur museum.
10. Drive home. Two days this time. Stay in Brigham City. New hotel. Very nice. Allow children to swim in pool. Read Twilight novel obsessively. Watch BYU channel on New Year's Eve. Laugh hilariously (sorry, yes, I DO know my audience) and wonder why the Osmonds' career has survived. Witness Donny sing "He's My Brother". Consider drinking Drano. Don't have any.
11. Arrive home safely. Sigh. Smile. Clean whole house. De-deck halls.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Y'all!!!

I LOVE JOOOZ GUYZ!!!!!!
Daddy and his angels, with his GG Margaret. She's such a fun lady. Always giggling. She's awesome.
Me, OPENING OUR NEW COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!! (And thank you for asking, but no, my parents aren't interested in adopting children at this point in their lives. Sorry, suckas.)
My little Annie Woo Kewwy. I asked her when she opened it what it was. She said "O.M.G." I said, wow, what is it?!!! She said "O.M.G." and then turned her little sign toward me. She's too funny.
Rhonda with her O gear. She was saying "O" alot. See the pursed lips? See Darin's amused expression? Yes, that's him amused. :)

Me and my Benny Bear...he had some very NICE earrings in him for me!!
Daddy finally finding his gun in my closet. We did a scavenger hunt. He just LOVES stuff like that. Can't you tell? This is his amused look.
My angels, after sitting out sustenance for Santa and his loyal steeds.
Andy, with his new reason for breathing air. Phew. That was a biggie. All in their McMasters tee-shirts, aren't they spiffy?
Daddy in the StormTrooper helmet. It was the most highly anticipated gift by my wee one. He prayed and prayed he would get one. :)
My wee one...opening spy gear. Now the little bugger drives that little car everywhere and it LISTENS IN ON CONVERSATIONS. Cool? Yes. Dangerous? Yes. It has a REALLY powerful mic.
My boys in their new Carhartt caps from S. Claus.
They love each other! They really love each other!
Lucky the wonder pup. WAHOO!